Two weeks ago, my coming baby embryo was upgraded to a fetus. Had I known earlier I would have put a lit candle in my wife’s belly button to celebrate. I hope the transition was indicative that our child will be a quiet one as neither of Baby Peach’s parents knew. He/she probably snuck out of the uterus to party it up in some crazy organ like the pancreas (who knows what goes on in there). Needless to say, being a parent really changes you, I know it has me. Well, a more exact way of saying that would be; being a potential parent really tempts you to change. I know it has tempted me.
The good news is that I don’t have to reinvent the rattle as there are several archetypal parent models from which to choose. I have observed these models closely and summarized them below (in no particular order):
The Liar
I understand that it can be difficult to explain certain “life-lessons” and that not all lessons are appropriate for all ages. On top of this, it is often times easier to tell a fib to your children in order to postpone or smooth through some uncomfortable situations that arise before your child is old enough to deal with them (or I’m ready to deal with telling them). So the question is; how old will my child be the first time I lie to him/her? I imagine it will be sooner than I expect, and while I probably won’t invoke the “I’ve got the Devil’s phone number” technique, there might be still be a fat man in red involved (still debating that one). I find it interesting that as a (potential) parent I wouldn’t want my child to lie in order to get or avoid a certain thing, but I would employ such a technique on my child.
The Friend
I have learned through the years that guilt is one of the most powerful emotions we humans experience. All sorts of medication, drugs, and alcohol are often used to cope with such guilt. For the parent, being a friend to your child ensures that you never have deal with the guilt of having a child who doesn’t like you. Another expression of the guilt-suppressing-friend-parent is the wielding of financial gains to woo the child whom you’ve disappointed in some way. I wonder how long I’ll be able to suppress my parental guilt before the words, “Daddy’s got a gift for you,” pass through my lips. Perhaps, it will be when I say, “Oh, alright” in response to my child’s, “Please, daddy, it’ll make up for missing my spelling bee championship” (Yes, I hope my child is a better speller than I am).
The Yeller
I am not a person most people would describe as “angry,” but I also know that children are the only demographic of persons who are expected to be yelled at; regularly. It seems that, beside lying and befriending your child, yelling is an effective tool to get a point across. We all know the louder one speaks the more serious they are taken by others; ergo children listen more the louder you speak. So, while I would not want my child to yell at people to get his/her way, I’m sure I’ll do plenty of yelling at my child to get my way.
This is list is far from exhaustive; I know. However, the question here isn’t so much about what kind of parent I’ll be, but what kind of parent I’ll be tempted to be. I’m fully aware that being a parent will be difficult but I’m not sure what sort of compromises I’ll be tempted to make to ease the strain. That is always the temptation we face as we choose from the typical modes of reaction that our society presents to us.
I am encouraged and hopefully inspired by Jesus’ own bout of temptation fighting he faced in those 40 days in wilderness. As the days neared the inauguration of his public ministry, Jesus had an essential question that he first needed to grapple with; “What sort of Messiah am I going to be or going to be known as?” The Tempter presented some very appealing options:
The Provider
“You are well acquainted with the pangs of hunger; it’s been forty days after all. Just use these stones to mix up your own batch of manna. Think about it this way, JC, Caesar is a Son of God, but his people (your people) still labor strenuously to feed themselves on a daily basis. You would be the true Son of God because if you can provide food for yourself out of nothing, imagine doing the same for others. No one would ever hunger again. You the Bread of Life , aren’t you?”
The Spectacle
“Alright fine, how about instead you spice things up with some razzle-dazzle. Throw yourself down from the peak of the Temple, and let everyone watch as the angels ensure your foot doesn’t strike against one stone. You do know that’s God’s promise to you, right? I’ll film the whole thing on my iPhone and upload it to YouTube. Then millions of people around the whole world will be watching you. Even Caesar himself would beg to have you eat at his table. Think of all the headlines, “Homeless Rabbi Saved by Angels.” Once people know you’ve got some special talent, you’ll have the attention of an entire nation. You’ll certainly be able to make some serious reforms that way.”
The Greatest King
“Let’s try this one last time. You know the oppression of your people. You’ve heard all the stories, and you know how the greatest empire, the greatest system of governance in history hasn’t really changed anything. The people will continue to be depraved, impoverish, and held captive by the Romans, and whoever else God raises up after them. So why don’t you take the reigns, you can be the new ruler over all the kingdoms of the world. You could restore peace and justice and turn the hearts of the people back to God. I’ll even ensure every knee will bow to you so long as you bow your knee to me.”
Let’s not pretend like the Tempter isn’t good at his job. Jesus’ options on the popular level were very enticing. He could do more for the pangs of his people than anyone else in history, and his life as the Messiah would have been much smoother had he compromised. The Tempter whispers, “It doesn’t have to be this hard, just tell a small lie to get out of this situation, just smooth things over with a gift, or just spew a few angry words, you can apologize later.”Amazingly, Jesus knew that by “winning” the world’s way was tantamount to losing in the kingdom of heaven.
I’m glad to know Jesus was paying attention in Psychology 1301; doing the same thing expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Jesus knew he could not more effectively employ old techniques and expect a better outcome for God’s people or all people for that matter. Jesus’ resistance to the Tempter and the world’s way of doing things intends to teach us to do the same; to be creative and imaginative in how we work in the world. I pray God, through the influence of His Word and Spirit, would stoke the flames of my imaginations to be an un-archetypal father to my little Baby Peach’s.
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